By Anna Segota, Staff Writer
Many people, such as myself, have been itching to break out the holiday music and decorations since feeling the first winter chill. Now, it is finally our time to shine. And what would the holidays be without some god-awful Hallmark movie that you can’t seem to stop watching? Here is a playlist to make you feel like quitting your high-paying job and throwing your phone into the ocean.
There She Goes – The La’s
This is our protagonist’s anthem. She writes commercials in the big city and lives with her rich boyfriend who always seems to be at work. She’s the quintessential girlboss and obviously hates the holidays with a passion. When she gets hit with a serious case of writer’s block, she travels back to her hometown to regain her spark.
Oh! Darling – The Beatles
Our love interest’s favorite song. He’s some sort of lumberjack or logger, and we hear him listening to this on the radio in his workshop. He’s got two adorable daughters, and his wife tragically passed away a few years ago. He seems grumpy but is actually a big old softy, like Luke Danes.
Kiss Me – Sixpence None The Richer
Our two generic main characters have their meet-cute moment when the protagonist’s mom sends her to pick up a Christmas tree for the house. Our city girl is looking through the few trees Mr. Lumberjack has on display in his store. All of a sudden, one of them starts falling on her!! Good thing that someone was there to save the day. And of course, rather than being grateful for not being squished to death, she immediately picks a fight with him, and they establish that they hate each other.
Paper Bag – Fiona Apple
Perhaps a little too sad for Hallmark, but what else is our protagonist going to listen to when she finds out her big city boyfriend is cheating on her with her work rival? Broken and bitter and newly single, our girl goes out to try to cheer herself up, I wonder if anyone is going to come and cheer her up?
Invisible String – Taylor Swift
Just like how Taylor Swift is unavoidable when making a romance playlist, Mr. Lumberjack is unavoidable no matter where our city girl seems to go. Slowly but surely, the two warm up to one another and find common ground.
A Sunday Kind Of Love – Etta James
Now falling into what some would call a domestic routine, our protagonist starts hanging around the Lumberjack’s store more and more. She meets his kids and ends up babysitting them while he goes on errands. The city girl and the kids bake together while Mr.Lumberjack stares longingly at them through the window, thinking about the future he could have with her.
Kiss With A Fist – Florence + The Machine
After realizing that she’s in love, our protagonist goes to confess to Mr. Lumberjack. Unfortunately, the two end up in a ridiculous argument and instead tells him that she hates him, and runs away, packing her bags to go back to the city.
All I Wanted – Paramore
Back in the city, our protagonist is utterly depressed, and the anger has worn off, settling into a terrible sense of despair. Not wanting to be anywhere near winter or the holidays, she books a flight to the Bahamas and calls her mother one last time before she goes.
Suddenly I See – KT Tunstall
Just about to board the plane, our protagonist hears a familiar voice calling her name. It’s Mr. Lumberjack! And he’s telling her to wait, apologizing for what he said during their fight. Of course, she takes him back, of course, they have a happy ending, and of course, it starts snowing as they kiss.